While penile emergencies are more often fodder for sophomoric humor in college movies than actual occurrences, the unhappy fact is that they do happen. While most men would prefer never to even think about these traumatic events, it really can’t hurt to know what to do if the worst does occur. Some of the most cringe-worthy penile emergencies are described here, along with hints for avoiding them and maintaining penis health.
1. Ruptured erectile tissue – The penis contains spongy chambers that are surrounded by connective tissue. When the chambers are filled with blood and the tissue is taut (i.e., during an erection), a sudden bend, twist or blow can cause painful tearing or rupturing, a condition often known as a broken penis. Left untreated, the tissue can heal, but the resulting scar tissue can cause unnatural bending or curving in the erect organ. In order to prevent long term damage such as shortening of the penis or loss of function, it is important to seek treatment immediately if a rupture does occur. Men who experience a loud snapping sound during physical activity, accompanied by severe pain and bruising/swelling, should head to the emergency room right away.
2. Priapism – The proverbial erection lasting longer than four hours is actually a thing, and not a good thing. Men who have an erection that won’t subside may be experiencing priapism, a condition in which blood becomes trapped inside the penis. Because circulation is disrupted, permanent tissue damage may occur, so this problem should be treated as a medical emergency.
3. Zipper entrapment – Catching the delicate foreskin when zipping up a pair of Levis may not sound like an emergency – until it actually happens. Millions of unhappy men and boys have experienced this excruciating problem, and any of them can explain – in retrospect – that screaming, flailing, or pulling at the trapped tissue is not a helpful solution. If trapped skin cannot be immediately freed, emergency treatment should be sought. This may involve a local anesthetic(and perhaps a sedative) while a doctor cuts away the surrounding clothing and then gently eases the skin out of the toothy metal.
4. Amputation – The recent and sensational act of self-mutilation by rapper “Christ Bearer” has brought the issue of penile amputation to the attention of the national media. Fortunately, the number of men who would contemplate, much less carry out, such a horrifying act is very, very low; on the other hand, amputations can – and do – also happen by accident. While it almost doesn’t bear thinking about, it is useful to know that if an amputation does occur, the majority of attempts at reattachment are successful, as long as some precautions are taken.
In case of an amputation, the severed member should be placed into a plastic bag – think Zip-Lock – and sealed off tightly. The sealed bag should be placed into another bag or container filled with crushed ice to keep it cool, and both the appendage and the owner should be transported immediately to the hospital. A surgeon will attempt to reattach the organ, paying attention to both cosmetics and functionality; this procedure should take place within 6 hours after the event.
Prevention, prevention, prevention
Obviously, accidents like those described above are not always preventable, but men can take certain precautions. Exercising care during intimate encounters is less likely to result in serious injury than bedroom acrobatics, and men should always use a cup during contact sports or any activity that involves any sort of projectile. Avoiding illicit substances linked to priapism is another must, and when it comes to zippers, slow and gentle is the safest bet. It is difficult to imagine any scenario that might pose a risk of penile amputation, so individual discretion is advised, particularly around sharp objects, jealous ex-partners, and farm equipment.
Men can also take matters in hand when it comes to preserving overall penile health by adding a penis health crème (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil) to his daily post-shower routine. A cream that is fortified with nourishing vitamins, disease-fighting antioxidants and energy-boosting amino acids can help to ensure a manhood that is supple and responsive and to alleviate the daily wear and tear that comes from normal use.