For many couples, oral sex is an important component of intimate life. While some prefer a one-at-a-time approach, others find nothing more exciting than simultaneous oral stimulation – the famous “69” maneuver. While it seems pretty straight-forward – mouth on genitals, duh – there are certain considerations men and women can take into account to improve their mutual gratification experience, on top of practicing proper vagina and penis care. The following 69 tips can help couples make the most of their mouth play.

1) What do both partners want out of it?

Some couples pursue 69 as a form of foreplay; others want it to comprise the entire sex act. Another scenario involves one partner wanting to achieve orgasm while the other wants to wait for sex. Couples should have a clear idea about what they want out of 69; otherwise, one may end up disappointed if it’s the end of the evening’s activities while he or she expected some sort of follow-up.

2) Don’t put too much pressure on oneself or the other to cum.

While orgasm is a legitimate goal of simultaneous oral sex, it shouldn’t be treated as an inevitability. Sometimes it just might not happen, and that should be accepted as a possibility beforehand. Instead of focusing too much on that goal, both partners would do well to be “in the moment,” enjoying the sensations they are both receiving and providing.

3) Who’s on top?

In the traditional 69 position, one partner is on top and the other is on the bottom. The person on top has more control over how much pressure is applied to his or her pleasure spot. However, this position can be physically exhausting.

If the woman is on bottom, she may experience some neck strain. This can be counteracted by the man thrusting downward into her mouth. However, this must be done with caution as gagging and discomfort can result. Partners should know one another well if this method is to be relied on. Alternatively, a woman can control the thrust depth by placing her hands on the man-on-top’s hips, indicating how deep down he can go by pulling and pushing away. She may also place a pillow under her neck to further reduce strain. The woman-on-bottom position has the advantage of opening the man’s body up to her so she can easily stimulate his testicles and perineum.

When a man is on the bottom, he has less risk of neck strain as his pleasure-giving maneuvers are mostly tongue-based and don’t require significant head and neck movements. He also has easier access to a woman’s vagina for finger stimulation in this position. The woman can move her pelvis up and down, side to side to increase her enjoyment. She also has better control over how deep the penis goes into her mouth in this position.

4) Try side-lying 69.

Some couples find the most comfortable position for 69 to be lying on their sides facing one another’s genitals. This generally comes with less strain to both partners, and they can even use one another’s bottom thighs as head rests. This position is great for long sessions, or as a follow-up to the more traditional position once one or both partners grow tired.

5) Try a sitting/standing variation.

While sexual acrobatics are certainly not every couple’s cup of tea, some revel in inventive positions. If interested, try the sitting variation first: The man sits on the edge of the bed and lies back, while the woman places herself on top in standard 69 position. The man gradually sits up as the woman wraps her legs around his head and places her palms on the sides of his thighs.

If the couple is feeling super adventurous – and both partners trust that the man is strong enough to support this position – the man can slowly begin to stand up, wrapping his arms around the woman’s back and holding her up. At the first sign of fatigue, disengage gently – dropping a woman on her head during oral is NOT a good way to go. It’s wise to have her positioned over the bed or a soft piece of furniture just in case she slips.

What’s better than simultaneous oral stimulation? Simply put, better simultaneous oral stimulation! Along with the considerations above, a man should take good care of his tool to keep the skin soft and the member odor-free. A penis health crème (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) can come in handy here. Look for a cream with Shea butter and vitamin E for smooth, supple skin, as well as vitamin A for anti-bacterial support and odor control.  

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