Emily Post may have literally written the book on etiquette in America, but it’s a safe bet that there’s at least one area she didn’t cover: when is it appropriate for a man to scratch his itchy penis. She also most assuredly did not address the underlying penis care issues that may be creating the itchy penis situation, either. Granted, some may say that she probably would have included penile scratching under the category of when the scratch in general, but clearly there is a difference between attending to a slight scratch on the bridge of the nose and providing blessed relief to a devilishly insistent itchy penis.
As Ms. Post left such a void in the etiquette department, this article intends to help address this issue that all men face occasionally – and some men face almost constantly.
Hanging out with male friends.
This is one of the few social situations when it is almost always acceptably to engage in a decent scratch without fearing social repercussions. Sure, if a guy puts his hand all the way down his pants and really goes at it to relieve an itch, he’s likely to get a few “Ew, gross!” comments or to be kidded that he should go somewhere else to masturbate. But all guys know how unrelenting an itchy penis can be and will usually do no more than engage in a little mild ribbing. Of course, setting also has to be considered. If it’s a group of guys knocking back beers as they watch the game in someone’s man cave, it’s one thing; if they’re all at a crowded bar, it’s another.
Masturbating with someone else.
It’s safe to say that if a mutual or group masturbation session is in progress, no one is going to care if a guy scratches his penis – or even notice that it’s not part of his masturbation routine.
At home with a significant other.
Within reason, this is acceptable. A partner doesn’t want to see their guys constantly scratching his crotch, but the occasional scratch while watching TV or talking about grocery lists is usually fine.
Attending a business meeting.
Unless this meeting is an audition for a role in a pornographic movie, a man needs to assiduously avoid the urge to scratch. Sometimes an itchy penis can be so insistent that a quick scratch is almost unavoidable. In such cases, discretion is key. Try to wait until everyone’s attention is very definitely focused elsewhere and/or hide the action by holding a folder or briefcase across the crotch.
While at dinner.
Technically, scratching while at dinner is a no-no. However, if one is seated with a comfortable amount of space between diners, it is usually easy to surreptitiously get in a little scratch, especially, if one disguises it by adjusting one’s napkin on the lap.
Meeting her parents.
Just don’t – and ironically, the stress a guy may feel may cause the itchiness to increase. But this is none of those situations when a man just has to wait until he’s alone to get some relief. Inevitably, if he just waits until everyone’s backs are turned, the father will glance back just in time to see that the guy who is defiling his daughter can’t even keep his hands off his penis.
Clearly, if a guy doesn’t have an itchy penis, he won’t have the need to scratch. In addition to practicing good hygiene, fighting the itchy situation requires regular application of an excellent penis health crème (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil, which is clinically proven mild and safe for skin) . Since dry skin is a major itch contributor, select a crème with both a high end emollient (like shea butter) and a natural hydrator (like vitamin E). In addition, find a crème with alpha lipoic acid. This potent antioxidant helps prevent damage to the penis skin by fighting free radicals; strengthening the skin in this way also helps keep itchiness down.